Friday, February 8, 2013

More Random Lessons

More random things that I know to be true ......

1)  Let me tell you something.  There's this younger person I used to know.  She ran daily, seldom felt physical pain, had big plans, smooth skin, and was always in a hurry to get places.  I miss that younger person.  I am also discovering that there is room on the bench of life for the older person I know now AND the younger person I used to know.  They can sit on the bench together and chat.  I think they'd like each other.

2)  Let's talk about this speed business.  I have always been a person on a mission.  There's always been a to do list on the counter (dating back to those chore lists that were my mother's
gift to each child on summer mornings).  I have always been a person who moves fast, thinks fast, reacts fast, and, yes, sometimes lives to regret the friendship with fast.  I am learning to get acquainted with speed's sister go slow.  She's an interesting character and one that I have always viewed with some disdain.  She's not so productive and sometimes I used to think she just wasn't smart at all.  Now that I am willing to talk to her, I am finding that she actually has some serious wisdom.  Not only that but she isn't too hoity toity to share that wisdom.  She is pretty darn self confident as well and doesn't' really give a hoot if I like or dislike her.  So I am the one who has to approach her and be willing to listen.

3)  Prizes in Cracker Jack boxes are not as good as they used to be.  Or have my expectations changed?

4) I am learning that western medicine is driven by money.  Why did it take me so long to learn this?  Mostly, I suppose, because I was given the gift of good health for most of my life.  Until fairly recently, my encounters with the health care profession and with all things pharmaceutical were good to mediocre but that has changed.  No need to get into detail here but there might be a post down the road on that.  For now, it is enough to know that I am learning that the bottom line for health care in this country is money.

5)  I don't have to DO anything about feelings.  Just because they exist does not mean I have to fix something.  I can notice the feelings and make room for them.  I can consider them visitors in my house, in my self.   I can invite them to have a cup of tea with me. I can just listen to them.  Maybe I can tell them something.  I always assume feelings are commanding me to do something but maybe they just want to say hi. Maybe they just want to see if I am still alive.   Maybe they just want to be heard.  Maybe they want to be seen.   They are not the boss of me.  I get to be the boss.  I don't have to shove them out the door but I sure as heck don't HAVE to do something about them.  That goes back to slow down a bit.  I don't have to spring into action when feelings visit.

6) Eventually, winter's coldness and darkness will be history.  For awhile anyway.

7) If you wait long enough, something will happen.

19 comments:

  1. Love this post, especially # 5. Makes me nuts that people always think there's something wrong with the way they feel.

    What's wrong with just feeling whatever it is that you feel, happy, sad and all the in between?!

    Everyone makes such a big deal about being so happy or acting like everything is ok all the time.

    I'm sorry folks that is just not natural of healthy. We all have a gamut of emotions and I believe we shouldn't be making believe we only feel the good ones.

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    1. I typically hide the unacceptable feelings or try everything in my power to get rid of them. Mostly I just think there's something wrong with me b/c I feel that way.... :(

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  2. Great post, Gracie. I'm especially loving #5 and agree wholeheartedly with the comment above.

    The bottom line in just about everything in our culture is money. I suppose the trick is to live as if it isn't? I don't know. I'm still working this one out. I'm perpetually disappointed when things just boil down to money rather than actual care.

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    1. Yup - pretty much everything is about money and that is wrong. But I don't know how that gets changed - certainly not in my lifetime. I HATE the impersonal, take a number, be at our beck and call, and pay a fortune health care system. Think I'll quit patronizing it.

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  3. I'm working on #5 too, and that is a struggle to learn. But I am making "slow" progress with it. :-) Blogging has helped me, alleluia!

    Health care is about money, but there are care providers who are rebels against the system, flying mostly under the radar, providing compassionate, excellent care to the best of their abilities, costs/profit be damned. Finding those rebels is hard, but word-of-mouth and luck are involved.

    I chuckled at your mom's lists-- in my house Dad left the list of "to do's" for us. How we grumbled!

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    1. Oh, those lists meant that it was summertime - the bitter and the sweet, heh? Far preferable in my book to going to school!
      I hear you on the health care rebels. Insurance companies won't pay for rebels though so I have to decide which one I will afford: health insurance or out of pocket payments for alternative medicine. Sucks.

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  4. What a great post! I could get inspiration for a month's worth of posts on all of my blogs from this one post. So much for me to connect with in this one that I don't know quite where to start.

    Yes, not only are the Cracker Jack prizes much worse than they used to be, the product itself doesn't seem as good.

    If you're ever interested in doing a guest spot at my memoir blog please let me know. I think you could come up with a very relevant and interesting post.

    Lee
    Have you ever compiled a soundtrack of your life?
    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog

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    1. First, how did I not know you had this blog? I know the dream one and now I will know this one!
      Thanks for your kind comments. I just throw it all down on the keyboard and see where it goes!
      The comment about the Cracker Jack prizes? I over heard it while wandering around on yard duty during the 8th grade lunch the other day - out of the mouths of babes!
      I doubt that I have anything worth posting to the memoir blog - but I will check it out more! and, no, I haven't done a soundtrack but I looked up yours. I wouldn't know where to start! But it could be fun!

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    2. I can't imagine that you couldn't come up with some great stuff regarding memoir. This current post is what hit me immediately in that regard. Think on it and if you come up with something just let me know. I'll make a space for you.

      And what would 8th graders know about quality Cracker Jack prizes? Unless they saw some of the cool stuff that came in those boxes back in the 50's and 60's. Maybe a grandparent had a collection? I wish I had saved some of those old Cracker Jack prize goodies.

      Lee
      Have you ever tried compiling a life soundtrack?
      Wrote By Rote
      An A to Z Co-host blog

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  5. Hi Graciewilde,
    its really good to be here, i am here via a to z blog challenge, will come back again to read more. keep posting keep inform. I just joined in.
    Best Regards.
    Phil

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    1. YAY! I have three of the A to Z posts written - it is fun to think of topics for each letter of the alphabet.

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  6. This was a thoughtful post. It looks like you hit a nerve with many of us with number 5. Frankly, lately I am sick of feeling. Personally I’d like a break from them. Thinking about how I am feeling is wearing me out. I liked what you said: “They are not the boss of me. I get to be the boss.” So maybe that is my problem> I do too much thinking about those bossy feelings.

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    1. I hear you, Lynda! Maybe just feel and don't think about them?

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  7. Those are good life lessons. I am still trying to make room on the bench for both the younger and the older me. It's a work in progress.

    Also, if you wait for something to happen, it may not always be the thing you want to happen...right?

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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    1. It might not be the thing I want to happen but right now? right now I don't have something in mind - I just want to know that I am alive and when "something happens" you know you are alive.

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  8. Beautiful and introspective post. Thank you for all your wonderful comments on my blog. I am now your newest follower :)

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  9. first time commenting on your blog (I think; maybe I visited you before, can't remember for sure). I do like your list; I can relate to a lot of things, Western medicine for sure and being control of one's feelings. May today be a good one!

    betty

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  10. This is a wonderful post! I relate to many of these things. The one that strikes me the most is the truth of number seven. That's an important one to remember.

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  11. Oh, number #5...how I struggle with this one. It's not that I often act on my emotions, really, but I think I should and the anxiety that assumption gives me makes everything exponentially worse.

    #4 is oh-so-true and frustrating and something I bang my head against regularly on behalf of clients as well as people in my own personal life.

    As for #3, Cracker Jack prizes are LAME now. Your totally reasonable expectations are fueled by nostalgia for an authentically better Cracker Jack reality past.

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